We are moving. These will be our last three weeks living in Lloret de Mar. The house where we expected to receive and raise Alba has given us two great years and sheltered us during the hardest year of our lives as we grieve.
Leaving this house is a very bittersweet feeling. This is where Cristina and I have lived the longest together and our relationship and our love have really grown in the time we have spent here. We turned the house into a home, but now it is also an emotional weight that constantly reminds us of what happened. We do not want to forget our daughter, of course, we never will and the pain of her loss will be with us always. We do want to be able to remember her through the prism of love and at the same time not have a constant reminder of the tragic events that occurred leading up to her death. Living in the same house it is a challenging thing to do.
There are many reasons for the move. Cristina needs to be closer to her family and be able to see them more often. She needs their support, the same way that my parents have supported and been there for us all these months. We also have a lot of close friends around the region we are moving to, and we both have realized how much we need to meet and enjoy time with our friends. In the house we are currently in we do not really have a network of friends that are as close to us.
We also need a fresh start. These last 9 months have felt like walking through mud. Everything seems to be an uphill struggle, from the most menial of chores to more important professional endeavors, it all takes a lot more energy out of us. This I believe is connected to the house itself. The energy it has for us is one of pain and despair and we both feel like starting fresh somewhere new will give us a little boost of energy and a renewed motivation to move forward and grow as people and as a marriage.
We will be moving to Alicante. Actually to Campello to be more precise, which is an area just outside of Alicante. We picked it for several reasons. We wanted to be somewhere that was closer to our friends and Cristina’s family without going to far away from mine. Somewhere that could offer social plans like going out to eat and to the movies, as well as a house where we could see ourselves living.
This has been an incredibly difficult decision to make. It is always difficult to leave behind what you know for something or somewhere different but we believe that it will help us to heal, to grow, to honor our daughter in the best way possible by trying to make the most out of our lives.
The idea of moving was very daunting to me at the beginning, and it still is a little today. Over the past year and a half, I have been working on a business dedicated to Spanish wine. I have been offering wine tastings that have started to be very successful and now with the move I need to find a way to move the business and consolidate it in a new market. This has generated a lot of doubts and at first, I thought a move would not be feasible financially. I thought that because I was discarding the possibility of finding a job in Alicante, mostly because
of my ego being focused on being an entrepreneur and working in a job would be a step back.
Then I thought about Alba, and what would I do for her, the answer was anything necessary. Then the thought of finding a job became easy. I am sure it will make me grow in so many ways and, as soon as my business takes off again and can sustain us, I can go back to working on it full-time.
I am going to miss a lot of people and places with the move. Most notably my parents who have been there for us at every moment and have helped us in countless ways since January 17th. My wife and I are both so grateful and we will do our best to come back to visit often. We also have friends that we will miss as well as our favorite spots that have brought us many a memorable moment.
The thing that brings me the most peace is that my home, our home is where my wife and my dogs are. We have moved several times already. We have lived in a small apartment on the busiest street in Barcelona and in a house in a small town of only 1000 people. We have always been happy and made the most out of our life in all of those places and that is because we were together. So I know we will be ok and happy in our new house. Everything else will fall into place.
I always love reading you, thank you always for your love ❤️